Eating disorders — challenging the stereotype
What High-Functioning Eating Disorders Really Look Like.
Make it stand out
Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.
Many of us have lived with an eating disorder for years, maybe decades, without fitting the stereotypical image. We’ve held jobs, maintained relationships, even smiled at dinner tables—while secretly fighting battles on the home front no one else could see. Because high-functioning doesn’t mean healthy.
For too long, eating disorders have been seen as illnesses that only affect those who are visibly underweight, frail, or in crisis. But suffering is not always visible. Many of us function at a high level while carrying the weight of intrusive thoughts, anxiety and overwhelm, together with the burden of deeply ingrained behaviours that touch every moment of our days, and shape every part of our lives. Indeed, these behaviours can sometimes feel like the only support we have to keep up with the daily challenges of life, challenges we already find harder than most.
🔹 It’s time to challenge this narrative.
“These women are so incredible. They are high achieving, they are intelligent, they are beautiful, they are capable — they are so strong, because every day is a challenge most will never fully comprehend.”
1. What Does “High-Functioning” Really Mean?
High-functioning eating disorders often go unnoticed because we don’t fit the traditional mould. But just because we can hold everything together, even seemingly, outwardly thrive, doesn’t mean we aren’t still struggling profoundly.
🔸 Some of us excel in our careers but structure our days around food control.
🔸 Some of us maintain vibrant social lives whilst consumed by intrusive thoughts.
🔸 Some of us appear physically ‘fine’ but experience severe medical complications.
🔸 Some of us are pillars of emotional support for others but carry profound psychological suffering ourselves.
We might look like we’re managing. But only we know how much energy it takes to hold everything in place.
2. The Hidden Behaviours No One Talks About
The signs of high-functioning eating disorders can sometimes be dismissed as healthy habits or just being disciplined. But behind closed doors, the reality is different.
-
Not for enjoyment, but out of a deep, anxious need.
-
Skipping meals, delaying food, or setting rigid rules no one else sees.
-
Eating in secret, compensating in secret, and carrying the weight of shame.
-
Tracking, planning, negotiating with ourselves—all day, every day.
Many of us have built entire lifestyles around these behaviours—they are embedded in how we work and socialise, how we move through the world. That’s what makes them so hard to spot—and even harder to release.
“I’ve gained a completely different perspective on my eating disorder. It doesn’t feel like everything revolves around it anymore. It’s strongly linked to so many other issues, and by working on those, I feel like I’m directly addressing the ED itself. I feel a lot more in control when it comes to eating. There are definitely some difficult days, but it doesn’t take over my life anymore. It doesn’t feel like it consumes all my time, and that’s such a massive win for me right now.”
3. Why Traditional Treatment Often Fails Us
Because we seem to be functioning, many of us are overlooked by the medical system.
🔸 We aren’t underweight, so we aren’t “sick enough.”
🔸 We don’t fit the crisis model, so we don’t qualify for insurance.
🔸 We manage to keep going, so no one sees how much we are struggling.
“All the recovery programs I explored involved medical screenings for BMI. I am restrictive, but I’ve fallen safely outside the clinical definition of ‘anorexic’ since 13, yet decades later I am still suffering so much with my eating... I felt embarrassed to be weighed. They were all so lovely, but it made me second guess if I was really right for this treatment.”
But eating disorders aren’t about weight or food—they are about emotional pain. Somewhere in our lives, there are basic emotional, human needs that are not being met–the only circumstance in nature in which a living creature could come to inflict harm to its physical body.
For those of us who do get treatment, short-term treatment models often don’t work, with relapse rates of 40% in the first year¹.
They may interrupt behaviours without enough time to heal the pain behind them.
They may stabilise weight without enough time to heal our long-term relationship with our bodies.
We may need to leave treatment before we’ve built the skills to sustain recovery, or integrate new behaviours securely.
💡 We shouldn’t have to hit rock bottom before seeking or receiving the support we need. We need care that meets us where we are.
4. Recovery Without Losing Ourselves
Many of us resist treatment for fear of what we might lose—our independence, our career trajectory, our financial security, the security of our social connections or relationships, our ability to care and provide for others—our sense of self, our identity, and ultimately, our coping mechanism.
But real recovery doesn’t mean losing control. It means gaining back what we never should have lost.
At Ianthe House, we offer a different way forward.
🔹 Support for body types above the clinical level of anorexia
🔹 Emotional health-focused recovery beyond food & weight.
🔹 Flexible treatment that works with real life, not against it.
“At first my eating disorder felt to me to be the manifestation of all that was bad, different and shameful about me. Eventually I came to see it as a friend who helped me when I needed, a strategy for survival that enabled me to be strong when I felt weak. Recovery showed me that real strength is something else entirely, for decades an unknown unknown to me—it showed me freedom.”
💡 You don’t have to find rock bottom to start climbing out.
⤷ Final Thought
Many of us have spent years hiding in plain sight. We have convinced ourselves that because we can function, we must be fine. But we don’t have to be at our worst to deserve help.
Recovery isn’t about letting go of everything we’ve built. It’s about making sure the life we’re building is one that we truly deserve.
“Ianthe House made me realise that I’m not alone with my situation and thought process, it was so comforting after years of feeling like it was just me & my experiences.”
-
Carter JC, Mercer-Lynn KB, Norwood SJ, Bewell-Weiss CV, Crosby RD, Woodside DB, Olmsted MP. A prospective study of predictors of relapse in anorexia nervosa: implications for relapse prevention. Psychiatry Res. 2012 Dec 30;200(2-3):518-23. doi: 10.1016/j.psychres.2012.04.037. Epub 2012 May 31. PMID: 22657951.
